Sometimes Things Refuse to Go The Way We Plan

I listened to Linkin’ Park’s song, the title is “Sorry for Now”. There’s a part of the lyric that says like this, “Sometimes things refuse to go the way we plan.” I just realized that line describe me better about what I feel right now.

About 10 years ago when I was still a college student, I had dreams to get a scholarship,  continue my master degree abroad (anywhere but here), live independently in a beautiful country, and probably get married to a foreigner. Somehow fate took me to another path I had planned before. 

Long story short, after college I got a job in a largest private bank in Indonesia. Life changed, my family almost fully depended on me financially. So, I couldn’t leave them just to follow my dreams, it seems irresponsible. And me getting a good job in this bank is also God’s blessing. It’s the answer from Him, like He told me, “This is your duty in your life now, be a blessing for the people you love.” 

Well, somebody I know has been living a life that I desired to have long time ago. She’s smart, she finished her master degree from a brilliant university, got married to a foreigner. And now she lives away from here, there in London, lives her life happily with her spouse. I followed all of her social media accounts. She seems very happy, satisfied, and flawless. I love seeing her posting her daily activities and her travel notes. Enough, enough for me to see there’s someone who’s living my dream (it could be her drean too or she never expected those such things happen in her life, I don’t know).
I don’t regret everything I get now. The ideal life I’ve been dreaming of is not mine, and I accept it. I don’t want to compare my life to others who have life like what I’ve been dreaming of. As I thought later, if I took that life planned path, I wouldn’t sure I can live without seeing my parents every week. 
I have a great happy family. I have a caring and nice husband. I have chances to travel the world. The only thing that makes my life incomplete now is we still don’t have child yet. But, for sure, I believe in His promises to me.

Let’s continue singing, “There are things we have to do so that we can stand.”